From The Blaire Chronicles

RAFEAL WAS THE TYPE OF DUDE THAT LOVED TO PARTY. WHEN I SAY PARTY I MEAN HOP A FLIGHT AND PARTY IN ANOTHER STATE FOR THE WEEKEND. FLY OUT TO JAMAICA FOR GREEN. HE WOULD GET IN THE WHIP AND DRIVE TO D.C. TO GO SHOPPING THEN TURN AROUND AND GO TO DINNER IN UPSTATE NEW YORK. HE WAS THE KIND OF GUY WHO LOVED ADVENTURE. HE WAS A GAMBLER AND IT SHOWED. BUT I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM. WELL I THOUGHT I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM AND YOU'LL SEE WHY.

RAFEAL TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE FOR THE MOMENT. HE SHOWED ME THAT LIFE DIDN'T HAVE TO BE SO SERIOUS. HE TAUGHT ME HOW TO TAKE WHAT I WANTED OUTA LIFE. THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE HE SAID, "PARIS, THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD, THERE ARE THOSE WHO SIT AROUND AND WAIT FOR SHIT TO HAPPEN AND THERE ARE THOSE WHO TAKE SHIT AND MAKE SHIT HAPPEN." THOSE WORDS HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS. I WILL NEVER FORGET THE PASSION HE HAD IN HIS VOICE WHEN THOSE WORDS LEFT HIS LIPS.

RAFEAL WAS THE TYPE OF MAN WHO LOVED TO MAKE ME SMILE. NOW YOU'RE PROB THINKING "WELL PARIS WHY ARENT YOU STILL WITH HIM." AND HERE'S YOUR ANSWER.

RAFEAL WAS THE TYPE OF GUY THAT LOVED TO CONTROL EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE AROUND HIM. HE LOVED THAT POWER. HE SHOWED ME THAT LOVE WOULD NEVR BRUISE YOUR FACE. HE TAUGHT ME HOW TO BLOCK PUNCHES FROM LEFT TO RIGHT. HE SHOWED ME THAT MAKING LOVE SHOULDN'T FEEL LIKE RAPE.

RAFEAL HELPED ME TO UNDERSTAND WHY WOMEN STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS AND CALL IT LOVE. HE ALSO SHOWED ME THAT THE PAST COULDN'T CONTROL THE FUTURE. NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT HE SHOWED ME A LOT. HOW TO HATE SOMEONES GUTS, HOW TO LIE TO GET WHAT I WANTED, HOW I COULD MANIPULATE PEOPLE, HOW I COULD GO OUT INTO THE WORLD AND LITERALLY TAKE WHAT I WANTED.

RAFEAL SHOWED ME DEATH. I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SEE IT AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE. I WAS 24 AND HADNT EVEN BEEN TO PARIS YET. BUT RAFEAL SHOWED ME TO MY GRAVE AND THE LAST WORDS HE SAID WERE, "THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD, THERE ARE THOSE WHO SIT AROUND AND WAIT FOR SHIT TO HAPPEN AND THERE ARE THOSE WHO TAKE SHIT AND MAKE SHIT HAPPEN."



I GUESS I MADE HIM SO ANGRY THAT I MADE SHIT HAPPEN.

I MADE HIM BEAT ME.

I MADE HIM LIE.

I MADE HIM CHEAT AND STEAL.

I MADE HIM GO BROKE.

IT WAS ME WHO MADE HIM CRASH HIS WHIP.

IT WAS ME THAT GOT HIM ARRESTED.

I WAS THE ONE WHO STARTED ALL OF THE ARGUMENTS.

PARIS WAS THE ONE WHO STUCK HER DIRTY **** IN SOME STRIPPER.

OH IT WAS ME WHO CAUSED HIS DRINKING PROBLEM.

PARIS WAS THE ONE WHO MADE SHIT HAPPEN.

I GUESS I WAS CONFUSED BECAUSE I THOUGHT I SAT AROUND AND WAITED FOR SHIT TO HAPPEN.

THAT'S HOW IT SEEMED. I WOULD BE SITTING IN MY ROOM READING A BOOK AND RAFEAL WOULD STORM IN AFTER LOSING SOME DOLLARS AND JUST PICK A FIGHT WITH ME. HE WOULD SAY, "GO CLEAN YOURSELF UP SHIT HAPPENS." IT TOOK 3 YEARS TO SEE THAT RAFEAL KNEW HOW MUCH I LOVED HIM AND IT SHOWED BUT HE NEVER KNEW HOW TO LOVE ME...